While I tend to shy away from sharing personal struggles, I’ve decided to share more of me here because (1) Transparency is important; Sometimes we need to be reminded that real life isn’t as perfectly curated as our favorite influencers’ Instagram feed and (2) There isn’t a testimony without a test. It is my hope that reflecting on 2024 in writing will enable me to look back this time next year with deeper appreciation for the light that 2025 will bring. I’d also like you to know that, if you’re going through some things, you’re not alone.
We began 2024 navigating my husband’s shoulder injury that came out of nowhere due to a build up of calcium in December 2023. He was out of work for about 3 months and had to undergo surgery. While challenging, we enjoyed the extra time the injury enabled us to spend together and, in hindsight, I believe this time strengthened our marriage. He was fine by his birthday in April (glory be to God!) and, in May, we took a trip to Turks and Caicos and had an awesome time.
I decided to throw a Barbie themed pool party for my birthday in June. What you didn’t see on social media is the sadness that surrounded that event. Two nights prior, I found out that my parents were getting a divorce after 36 years of marriage. As I typed that, I paused. It’s heavy. The day after what would have been their 37th anniversary, they had their first virtual court date. My entire life we were one of the rare families that had both mom and dad in the household. Not just there, but present, happy, involved. If you know my family personally, my parents were marriage goals before the term was coined on social media. We’ve always been an unbreakable unit that radiated joy, as corny as that may sound.
There’s so much to unpack here, but my siblings and I are doing the best we can navigating it together and showing up for both of our parents. You would think that your parents getting divorced when you’re an adult would be less impactful. I actually think it is more impactful. Children bounce back quicker and, when divorce happens at a young age, you grow up with separate parents and households being the norm. For us, our entire lives have been lived one way. It’s all we know. 2024 is the year that everything changed.
As devastating as the divorce has been, we’ve experienced so much loss in 2024 that it feels almost selfish to dwell on it. You see, my parents are still here. On the day of my birthday party, my Aunt Yoli passed away. She was my mom’s best friend and an irreplaceable part of our family. Memories of her are interwoven throughout every part of my life. I don’t remember a time that she wasn’t there. Her love and support was unwavering. She showed up for my siblings and I in ways that blood relatives never did. All I’ve been able to do to cope is to show up for her daughter, my best friend, the way she showed up for all of us.
At the end of July, weeks before what would have been her 87th birthday, my grandmother took her last breath. She had Alzheimer’s disease and watching every bit of who we once knew fade away was an ongoing struggle for roughly 7 years. She was bed ridden and, given her frailness and memory loss, was living a life that none of us would choose for ourselves. It’s almost as if she bowed out gracefully to release my mom from taking care of her during a time she knew my mom would need to take extra care of herself. My grandmother has always been one of my favorite people. She was a remarkable woman who laughed hard, prayed hard, and loved hard. Even in her final days, it seems she was thinking of others.
During my grandmother’s funeral and repass, we reconnected with family that we hadn’t seen in a while. Among those that I was thrilled to see was my Uncle Larry. Him and my Aunt Zet were always inspirational. He was a hard worker who created his own wealth and took exceptional care of his wife and daughters. They had been together almost 50 years. He was joking with my brother, husband, and I before he left the repass. Less than 2 weeks later, he unexpectedly passed away. 3 funerals in 3 months.
At this point, I was over 2024. Like Hello Big Guy! You said you wouldn’t put more on us than we can bear. Please Lord, no more.
On a lighter note, Mrs. Christmas still pulled off Christmas without missing a beat. The truth is, I felt like I’d fall into depression if I didn’t. My best friends spent the holidays with us and I know Aunt Yoli was happy to see it in heaven. My family, somewhat successfully, navigated Thanksgiving and Christmas separately and my husband and I celebrated 4 years of marriage.
2024 was tough, but I’ve always felt like, if you just keep swimming, you’ll find your way. I am grateful that God continues to show me that He has my back. The only thing I know for sure is that I have to learn to really trust Him. Raise your hand if you’re guilty of saying you really trust Him, but your actions – and worry spirit – don’t align. 🙋🏽♀️ Yep, that’s me. So 2025 I vow to trust His plan for me and my family. I also promise you that I will be opening a real estate brokerage this year. It feels good to say that out loud. Stay encouraged and stay prayerful. Wishing you an abundant 2025!
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