While watching Michelle Obama speak at the Democratic National Convention (if you missed it, check it out here), I was reminded how important representation is. Braids, cornrows, plaits, faux locs – all beautiful styles that, despite their commonality in my culture, I shied away from. Most people have never seen my hair in its natural state, since it’s most often straightened and curled.
I started straightening my hair as a preteen and quickly grew to prefer it that way. As a young adult, I ended up in professional circles where there weren’t many people that looked like me or had similar cultural backgrounds. When I graduated from the University of Central Florida, the black population was about 5%. Even today, it hovers around 9%. In my professional career, I’m often the only black girl.
When you’re in settings that remind you that you’re the minority, you don’t want to do anything that’s going to draw attention to the physical attributes that make you different. A few years into my first job out of college, I mustered up enough courage to wear my hair in its natural state. The VP at the time, who is someone I respect and admire still, commented as I left for the evening: “We may need to widen the doors, so you can fit tomorrow!” This was a bad joke about how big my hair was.
While she didn’t mean any harm, statements like these can have a lasting effect. I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t wear my hair natural much after that. In fact, in all of my subsequent corporate positions, I have not worn my hair in its natural state.
Last year, I decided to be The Little Mermaid for Halloween. While I’ve always wanted to be The Little Mermaid, last year was THE year to make it happen because (1) she was black (thanks Halle Bailey!) and (2) she wore faux locs. I always wanted to try faux locs, but never had the courage to do so. I decided I was going to go for it and was sure to warn my colleagues, in order to minimize the questions and comments I’d receive when joining the Monday Zoom with red faux locs.
The fact that I felt the need to give them a precursor of MY hair change bothers me to this day. It took me 35 years to do anything different with my hair and that’s just sad. I’m writing this today having finally gotten to the point where I don’t care what hairstyles people deem professional or unprofessional. I don’t care what western beauty standards deem attractive or unattractive. My credentials speak for themselves.
I’m also writing this with the most beautiful black faux locs in my hair done by KFinity Beauty Studio. Seriously think I’ll be doing these at least once a year moving forward! And now I want to try everything I’ve missed out on all these years, so if you think there’s a particular hair style that would look good on me, please share in the comments!
Representation is so important. Seeing Halle Bailey as The Little Mermaid gave me the courage to try something new and made little girls all over the world feel seen. And there is just so much to say about the beautiful, gracious, intelligent, and groundbreaking powerhouse that is Michelle Obama. Her getting on a national stage in plaits elegantly styled in a waist length braid made me feel like I can do anything.
I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am the soul that lies within.
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